Isn’t that what we all try to achieve? We explain how fair doesn’t mean equal, how life isn’t fair. We all try to be fair with our kids, to not show favoritism because there isn’t a favorite. Well, the good mom’s do at least. And then you have times where it’s just impossible to balance it fairly.
Bubba is out of school for summer. Smash-N-Break is out of preschool. “Ball pit school” (which is what he calls ABA therapy and speech therapy) is still ongoing, 3 days a week. There is no fair way to do this. It isn’t fair to Bubba to sit at home every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday so that Smash-N-Break doesn’t miss any fun summer activities. It isn’t fair to Smash-N-Break to do activities that he will miss out on.
I’m currently sitting at a splash pad, watching Littles and Bubba play. Watching them play and bond, even with the five year age gap, makes my heart soar. And it breaks my heart at the same time. Because Smash-N-Break is missing it. I’ll take him and his brothers next week after the Summer Movie Club. I’ve planned things that are right up his alley for his off days. I’ll include him. But it isn’t the same.
I know he’s doing something way more important. I know he’s doing something that will help him his whole life. I know he needs this. It just is hard. Every decision feels wrong. But the world can’t stop for Smash-N-Break. So, Littles and Bubba will do things while he is at therapy.
I haven’t found that balance yet. Do I just not tell Bubba and Littles what we’re doing until after Smash-N-Break is at therapy? Do I plan excursions with just him and I on the weekends? Do I apologize for what I know is best for him? Will he hate me for this? Will he feel like I favor the other two?
What’s the balance for this? When will it not hurt?