So, kid shows fascinate me. I swear, the job description must be something like: “Wanted – creative drug addict to write impossible truths that are suitable for our most impressionable minds.”
Littles is a cuddler. He will come over and demand I sit down. How can I say no to a demanding two year old going “Mama – sit down!”? I can’t. This leads me to watching kid shows sometimes, and trying to make them make sense in real life.
I can see it now in the Nickelodeon Studios.
<queue echo effect flashback>
Stoner Dude: So, I have an idea.
Executive: Okay, what is it?
Stoner Dude: There’s this cult leader, but he’s like a kid. And he killed his parents to inherit their money to build his cult. Wait, do you hear an echo? No? Well anyway…He calls it Adventure Bay, so it’s nice and normal. He builds houses and businesses, and starts to recruit cult members. He gets this dumb lady who talks to chickens, this old lady who has a pet raccoon, the weird fisherman dude who only speaks in alliteration. The rival cult leader is in a town full of dentists, okay, and he has EVIL KITTENS!
Executive: I can market that, but we need more people. Also, what will fight the evil kittens?
Stoner Dude: Okay. How about a farmer? They need food. And, cult kid needs a protege and a child bride, but it’s okay because he’s a child, too. So, bring in the protege as another boy kid, and he needs a parent. But not like a parent parent. He needs an old dude who has accepted his role in life is to put up with the protege. I need munchies, so the old dude can bake. The child bride will bathe the evil kitties. Or normal kitties. Yeah, that makes more sense. And let’s add a stoner dude ski bum.
Executive: Again, what fights the evil kitties?
Stoner Dude: WONDERDOG!
Executive: That’s been done before. What about a team of dogs?
Stoner Dude: YEAH! They do normal stuff, like dig and collect trash. And since cult kid killed his parents for their money, he can create rocket ships for the dogs! And a robot dog to drive him around, because he’s a kid, you know. I swear I can hear an echo…try it with me. ECHO! See? No?
Executive: Okay. It’s a town, so it needs some basic services. Police, fire, trash/recycle, construction dogs. I’ll add a flying dog, a ski patrol dog, and an ocean dog. Let’s dial the rocket ships down some. How about they have trucks, planes, and an RV? No chauffeur, though.
Stoner Dude: He needs a robot dog or I won’t let you use my idea!
Executive: Okay, robot dog to drive things. Trucks, planes, and an RV okay, though?
Stoner Dude: Yeah, and make sure that cult kid lives at the top of Adventure Bay to keep an eye on his cult. But, don’t make it obvious like a church. Give it a not obvious steeple, ok?
Executive: Space Needle, got it. Can the dogs talk?
Stoner Dude: Yeah, but not the EVIL KITTENS. They have to mew.
Executive: Sounds like a plan. Now, what does Adventure Bay look like?
Stoner Dude: It has everything! Oceans, whales, lighthouses, skiing, snow, mountains. But no dentists.
Executive: Okay. You mentioned the dentists live in the rival town. We’ll make an episode where it’s mentioned, okay?
Stoner Dude: Can we add a GIANT STUFFED DOG!?
Executive: No, let’s discuss the giant stuffed dog as a different show. Let’s keep the cult kid as Paw Patrol, ok?
Stoner Dude: This show is awesome…seriously do you hear an echo?
<end echo effect flashback>
And, just like that, Stoner Dude created Paw Patrol.